Saturday, July 26, 2008

Hot Flops = Hot Mess!

Ohhhhh b'gosh. Check out these "AMAZING NEW FLIP-FLOPS" called, disturbingly, "Hot Flops." Gah... Kind of a misnomer since yes, they're "flops," but no, they're not "hot." Though actually, they could definitely be considered "flops" the more I think about it.

Basically, someone took regular fucking flip-flops and glued some craft store dollhouse miniatures on them. WHOOOOPDIEDOO! Observe the traumatic, craptacular results in highlight form:
Oooh! The poker version! Gotta know when to fold 'em, folks!

Fashion FORE!

Seriously, someone was asleep at the wheel during the brainstorming sessions for these... if there WERE any brainstorming session. NOT ONLY is there a HUGE, TACKY clump of grapes (like the kind you'd see on a jug in some shitty tableau next to a statue of a jolly, stereotypically fat chef in a crappy Italian restaurant) on this otherwise innocent flip-flop, but somehow a dragonfly got roped into the situation AND -- look carefully -- you'll notice, a pineapple. That just makes me hate all pineapples now solely because of this one pineapple's involvement here. Oh yeah, you can also choose from FIVE OTHER fruit-themed "Hot Flops." You know -- if orange isn't your thing.

Like Chi-Chi's for your feet! A celebration of... crap!

These MIGHT be cute... if you're like 14 months old and not cognizant enough to realize what the fuck you're wearing.


Anyway, for additional torture, check out the poorly conceived subcategories of Hot Flops -- "Fruitflops," "Sportflops" and the especially disturbing "Coolhotflops." Again -- neither cool, nor hot. Weep. Morts Bagorts! :<

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