Five to Grow On

Like myself, Pez dispensers and what will certainly be Cheyenne Kimball's career, this post is short and sweet.

I present you...

Five Summer(-ish) Sale Items

1. Pink Studio Margaret Orange Pumps
(A WTF-inducing mere $36, Pink Studio, berkstore.com)

These adorable pumps have stripped away everything I hate about wedges (the wedge), taken everything I love about the color orange (everything) to create one PERFECT summer shoe! And the saintly folks at Berkstore priced them at only $36!! SMASHING!

** BREAKING NEWS ** I totes just ordered these, and they have FREE US five-day shipping! Seriously -- they were ONLY $36! Whut?

2. Sweety-sweets Tux Top
($29, not sure, Shopintuition.com)

Three cheers for this absurdly high-clizass shirt at a sticker price that's decidely low-rent! And what's even less morts: you can wear this summer shirt straight into fall.

UPDATE: This top is now, unforch, sold out (thank you Leanne for the alert!), but check out this very similar and very cute top instead!

3. Grey Jeans
($99, Blue Cult, Shopintuition.com)

Mayday! Total fall jeans at summer prices! To be sure, a hunny is a lotta scrill, but not bad for a pair of jeans which, trust me here, will add some sass to yer ass. I'm gonna ride the grey jeans trend til my fave pair get holes all up in the thigh area. NOT that that's ever happened to me or anything.

4. Totes Pineapple Tote!
($10, Amici, amiciaccessories.com)

This tote is totes cuter than Macaulay Culkin when he did that ridiculously overexposed hands-on-his-cheeks-Oh-face thing. And mark my words Betties, pineapples are the new grey.

5. Solid Gold Circle Necklace
($39, Yochi, MaxandChloe.com)

Buy this and hang onto it, because soon after the Sienna Goes On Beach Holiday! nautical resortwear trend dies, you'll still be able to rock this bitch with a black sweater and pencil skirt and look every bit the elegant gal you know and I know you can be. (When you try.)

Ten Dreamy Summer Dresses (to Drive Out This Dreadful Season)

How happy am I that summer's almost over? I know you probs wanna smack me for saying so, but I hate the summer. Everyone’s all like "blabbity blah, the beach rules!" But honestly, unless you live at one, you inevitably only end up going MAYBE three times if you REALLY put your back into it. Otherwise you spend 100+ days wiping away layers of sweat from your face and fighting frizz. But that’s just me. Fall fashions are superlatively better than summer. Duh hickey! NEVERTHELESS, before summer’s done, I will humor you sun-loving, in-line-for-melanoma people with ten last-minute summer dresses. I consider them last-minute since sweaters are showing up in stores already, and truly, this shit can't end soon enough.

Let's begin with the obvious...

Wear this...

To the beach
($29, Ben Sherman, SmartBargains.com)

To brunch in Park Slope
($306, 12th Street by Cynthia Vincent, Amazon.com)

On the L Train
($202, Spring & Clifton, Cocosshoppe.com)

To a backyard Tupperware party
(Approx $47, Betty Jackson.Black, Debenhams.com)

To an evening wedding
($425, Nanette Lepore, eLuxury.com)

Poolside at the Soho House/ YMCA
($106, Mara Hoffman, activeendeavors.com)

To the farmer's market or to work (or to work if you work at a farmer's market)
($192, Vivenne Tam, eDressme.com)

To a heaven & hell party
($290, Eskell, couturecandy.com)

To your boyfriend's family reunion
(Morts)


And finally...

On your couch, watching a Saturday marathon of "The Hills"
($1393, Matthew Williamson, Brownsfashion.com)

Lastly ... RUN, don't walk to your nearest new browser window! You only have ONE DAY LEFT to bid on Tori Spelling's used pajamas! Happy bidding!

Attention New Yorkers! Awesome Sale Alert!

Lovers of real vintage and reconstructed vintage, get thee to Mulberry and Houston. You will see a sign for the Zachary's Smile "attic sale," you will go down the steps, and then you will find racks and boxes of great stuff, most things $25 and under. You may also find a very tall black drag queen in hot pants, and Manhattan moms yammering away on their cell phones, but only if you're lucky like me. I got a sweet Fifties-ish dress for $30, and a cute pencil skirt for $15. I passed on a red-and-white crochet dress that would be perfect for Santacon (because yes, I am already thinking about my Santacon outfit) because I didn't feel like feeling like a jackass trying it on. But I might go back! Recommended!

Shoes For You to Barf On

As wonderful as wonderful shoes are, I almost enjoy looking at bad shoes better. I went hunting for the ugliest out there so you can rest assured that no matter how lackluster your shoe wardrobe might be, at least you haven't hit rock bottom. Herewith, the worst of the worst. Roll video:



Dudes, did Jessica Simpson wear these recently? You know you can so see these pink abominations on her feet. Ugh.



For $34.99, you could have seven highly caloric grande Frappuccinos, three tickets to the upcoming Body Count (with Ice T, in case you were wondering) show at the Knitting Factory, a cruise around the isle of Manhattan, a scary mannequin head to decorate your apartment with (who would do that? me? no!), and yet as stupid as all of those things are, they are not as stupid as these horrible Baby Phat wedges.



Did you know that the lovely Heidi Klum has bewilderingly attached her name to the most prominent name in ugly shoes, Birkenstocks? Oh yes. There is a whole mess of ugly shoes "styled by" Heidi Klum, some with horrendous lyrics by her husband printed on them, such as the Wall of Kiss clogs, $228.95. Holy effin' fug, look at them all!



Wild Life Textile sneaker, $479.96. A bit much to spend on your four-year-old niece, even if they came in kids' sizes.



Green bejeweled horror, $287.96.



Jelly Birks, $228.95 plus the cost of your dignity.

Speaking of clogs (sorrrrta), I am going to go on the record here and state that they are never okay. These especially:



I just don't even know who is the kind of person that would wear these embroidered furry things. I know even less who is the kind of person who would wear them who would also spend $390 on them.



Ack! No! Do not combine sweaters and horrid shoe types! Definitely do not go and then add insult to injury with lame-o silver studs. Just leave well enough alone. Dr. Scholl's cable-knit clogs, $39.95.



This needs no explanation. Striped mitten boots, $49.95.



Another mind-bogglingly bad combination: beads and clogs. Offensive enough on their own, but put 'em together and bam! You're ready to go square dancing at the dumb-folks' home. Not worth $27, I promise you.



So I hate clogs. But if there's a type of shoe I hate more, a shoe that I believe even more fervently should never grace the feet of any self-respecting woman, it's the driving moccasin. With so many cute flats out there, why? BCBG Max Azria moccasin, $142.95. (Although, the more I look at them, the more I think they might be kinda cute with jeans. What's wrong with me??)



Those of you who think Marc Jacobs can do no wrong: think again! Hundred-dollar jellies. Right.



And again! Hot pink patent-leather pumps, $253.95 I better not see you blowing.



Yet again! Crazy fur-striped boots, $598.95. Someone get me my smelling salts.



Now, I'm all for color, the brighter the better. But for the love of rainbows and unicorns and leprechauns, not all at the same time! This seems like it belongs on a 15-year-old Tokyo girl, and on her it might work. On you, ugs. Adidas sneaker boot, $129.95.



'Member what I just said about color? Exhibit B! (For barf-worthy...) Rainbow sandal, $145.



These are like those unfortunate open-toed sporty sandals that men wear, except they're blue and white and for women. No excuse. Skechers sandals, $38.45.



I will end with one of my pet peeves, the basic black slide. I wore these things back in the late 90s too, when I thought I needed to wear business casual and I shopped at Express. I don't do those things anymore, and neither should anyone else! Please, ladies. It's not necessary. Steve Madden slides, $1.99 (for a reason!!).

Shoes, Glorious Shoes!

All right my pretties, I know, I know. You've been starving for some fashion goodies. Today the subject is shoes. Usually I like to focus on fashion for the everyday girl-about-town, but today I was on the hunt for beautiful shoes, those that are objets d'art in their own right. Such as...




These lovely things by Marc Jacobs. I love unusual shapes, and these have it. Patent leather is going to be huge this fall, and while I'm not really a fan, I'd get over it for a pair of these babies.



On a more affordable tip, meet the "Mary Kate," my namesake pump! I love how the suede runs over the platform, love the wine color, love the chunky roundness of it. So far it's my must-have shoe for fall, despite its semi-impracticality. $74.95.



Kate Spade "Angie" mules weren't $195, I'd be all over them, too. I used to think I'd never find a cute mary jane that didn't scream "Brooklyn book editor" (no offense to any of that species who might be reading, of course) but these just might be them. Sleek, no?



These YSL wedges, at $590, are even further out of my price range, but this is the kind of shoe that makes me want to dress in all black so everyone has to acknowledge the fabulousness of the shoes. Love the color blocking, and I think maybe it's a rule that everyone must own suede footwear this fall.



Yep, suede. With a splash of color. Hi Pucci! I love you! Please send me your wedge pumps (gratis, as I can't afford the $435 price tag)....



...or maybe your lovely high boots ($950)...



...or even these funky leather ones. I think I might heart those the most, actually. What? You don't give away $750 boots to upstart fashion bloggers? Well, WHY NOT? Don't you know we're a thriving community?



I'm also noticing a lot of leopard print among the designer offerings. Which makes me glad that if I can't have these truly special Giuseppe Zanotti wedges, $495, at least I picked up a pair of leopard-print pumps at the clothing and accessories swap I organized with a few friends a while back. Those were about four inches high, too. (Yes, I'm a glutton for punishment.)



These Christian Louboutin mohair pumps are so incredible. They will never be mine, at $710. But a girl can gaze.



I'm also enjoying the thought of these Kate Spade feather flats, $272. What's next? Are we going to see shoes with little googly eyes all over them? Exquisitely arts-and-crafted shoes for all!



Finally, these cute slingbacks are by Steve Madden, they're a bright, candy-colored green, and they've got a big button closure. What more do you need? $99.95 (frankly a bit much) is all.

Tune in tomorrow for a frightening display of the ugliest things you could possibly put on your feet, this side of Crocs. Toodles!

How to make your skin look beautiful

Natural Skin Care - Just Look Into Your Kitchen

Less expensive, safer, and easy-to-use natural skin care can be as easy as opening your kitchen cabinet, coupled with a few minutes of preparation.

Radiant, healthy, glowing skin is something every person wants. Yet, few of us even think to use what's really the best for our skin: natural skin care products.

Each year, millions of dollars are spent chasing after perfectly healthy, ageless skin. The environment, stress, and
less than healthy eating habits, all play a major role in the quality of your skin.

The answers to achieving radiant, glowing complexion are within arm's reach. Many of the items in your kitchen right now can provide natural skin care that's even better thank those expensive, chemical filled products that cost an arm and a leg.

Skin Care Throughout Life

From the day of our birth, our skin requires much care to remain smooth and healthy. It begins with soap to keep us clean. Then, there are creams, powders, and ointments to keep diaper rash from our bottoms. During the first few years of our lives, our skin will do well with soap for cleaning and the occasional lotion or cream for moisture. Then come the teen years. Our raging hormones bring out the oily skin, the pimples, and a host of other conditions.

It's important to understand that everything that comes in contact with our body affects our health and the condition of our skin. That's why choosing natural skin care products and ingredients is important. The liver filters the toxins and poisons from the food we eat, but whatever we place on our skin is directly absorbed. This includes deodorant, lotions, gels, cleansers, toners, make-up, perfumes, and more.
As we age, our skin becomes more sensitive, and we need to be even more careful with the beauty treatments we use.

Simple Solutions for Better Skin

Here are a just a few natural skin care solutions for you to try. You'll be very pleased with the results:
- Once a week, rub your skin with baking soda while in the shower, for a silky, smooth feeling. You can also do this on your face to remove black heads.
- Fresh tomatoes are great for the oily areas of your face. (but your skin may be sensitive to it, so try it on your arms first). Rinse thoroughly immediately after using the tomato juice.
- For a great moisturizer try olive oil: this healthy fat is good for you, and is great for your skin. You can also use it to soothe sunburned skin.
- Vinegar can work wonders for smelly feet and armpits. Mix water and vinegar 50/50, and use in place of deodorant: it will keep the unpleasant sweat smell away, without any irritation. As for your feet, if you suffer with athlete's foot, a week of vinegar foot bath will help a lot, sometimes completely getting rid of your condition.
- Egg yolk mixed with honey makes for a really great mask: put on your skin, leave it on for 20 minutes, and rinse off. Excellent for sensitive skin. Honey gives a tingling/ticklish sensation, so if you are sensitive to that, use the egg yolk alone.
- Another use for egg yolk: for those with eczema, use it instead of soap. It doesn't smell great, but it will heal your damaged skin.
- A great treatment for dry skin is avocado: mash it, smooth it onto your face, and rinse off after twenty minutes.
Lastly, make sure you drink 8 glasses of water every day to keep your skin cared from the inside out.