Newsflash: MODELS ARE WAY TOO FUCKING SKINNY.

These photos Life Mag just posted of models at Fashion Week make me want to vomit. Fitting, no? Thin is always going to be in. I can deal with that. But your spine shouldn't be visible from the outside of your body. In any other universe, people who look like this "naturally" (and very few of these girls look like this naturally -- girls starving themselves in the modeling industry is an open secret) would be trying to GAIN weight. It's depressing and horrible that girls are celebrated for looking like they were just released from a prison camp.

Life kept it classy, by the way, shooting models "eating," but "just not a lot."

No wonder models have been fainting on the job.

I'm confident no designers actually read this blog, but just in case...

THE AVERAGE AMERICAN WOMAN WEIGHS AROUND 140 POUNDS. MOST OF THE WOMEN WILL BUY YOUR CLOTHES ARE NOT SAMPLE SIZES. STOP DESIGNING CLOTHING FOR SKELETONS AND REINFORCING THE IDEA THAT REAL WOMEN ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK HOLLOWED-EYED BAGS OF BONES.

Pretty Young Thing: Agyness Deyn Channels Michael Jackson

You've probably already seen this, but sometimes I'm on a slow post sched, so forgive me for being tardy to the party. It's Agyness Deyn in the September issue of Harper's Bazaar. Anyway, I love MJ (duh), and Agyness is one of my favorite models because she's not all tragically model-y and has the ability to look like a Glamazon, Holly Hobby, OR an angry, pouty little mop-topped boy. Enjoy!

Stella McCartney jacket

Moschino jacket

Rag & Bone blazer with Crystallized Swarovski Elements

Balmain pants and jacket

YSL jacket

Also -- random -- check out this photo of Agyness as a teenager. Thankfully she (like I), learned to chill on the brows. I, however, am still awaiting a modelling contract. I'M WAITING!

Britain's Next Top What Now???

Wow. Just...wow. I have had a quite an Internet day. Earlier today I fell in utterly horrorstruck pity-laughing-love with Chase No Face, the sadly disfigured cat who has his own blog. And now...this.



I don't even know how to respond to this, but the British have created a new reality show: "Britain's Missing Top Model." Which might at first sound like a poor attempt at plagiarism. "Missing" as a synonym for "next"? Not very smooth. But what are they missing, in fact? Limbs, mostly. That's right: This is basically Britain's Next Top Disabled Model. I laughed in disbelief when I heard this, but it's TOTALLY REAL. Ugh. There's fun Tyra-enabled camp, and then there's the truly depraved, exploitative and icky, and this is the latter. Not that being disabled is gross or horrific or laughable or any of that, but do these people need to be wheeled down the catwalk? I'd say the answer is a pretty clear no. There are far better ways to humanize the disabled rather than, uh, "making it fashion." Who'da thunk America would come out looking like the tasteful one in the reality-TV game?

Nautica's Log Cabin Republican Look!

(Photo: JD Ferguson, V Magazine)

Poor Garrett Neff. The face of CK, seen usually in not much of much, was sent down the Nautica men's runway looking like a buffer Prince William dressed as an ice-fishing lumberjack superhero on his way to Bang Bang.


It-guy Simon Nessman (at Perry Ellis) and more hot dudes who don't look like even the hottest real-life guy I know, here:

(Photo: JD Ferguson, V Magazine)

Marc Jacobs "Backward" Heel And Other Terrible Ideas

Marc Jacobs has lost what's left of his skinny little mind. At least he MUST have if these ass-backwards heels from his Spring 2008 RtW collection. The show itself was a completely vague abstraction with very few literal pieces, so at least these baffling shoes were in keeping with that esoteric theme, but will they play in Peoria?? Probably not when they'd hardly even play on Prince Street. It's like being caught mid-fall or something. They're like the shoe version of that cliched "inverted human/ Quasimoto" model pose where the girl contorts herself so that her upper body is completely concave. Because THAT'S HIGH FASHION! Marc-y Marc, make like we wish Amy Winehouse would, and put down the pipe.

Let's take a look at some other high-deas!

($250, Laurie Jacobs' Spiky Bras)

I don't know if you noticed, but there are little frogs or bugs or both on top of these blowfish, which are also a bra.

(Kropserkel)

At least were created by special effects creators. But it's just a matter of time before sportswear explodes and we start seeing futuristic chastity belts made of rubber on the catwalks. (It is kinda Y-3.)

($289, James Piatt)

This handbag is called the "Pursuader," though it doesn't need to be called that to persuade me me that you voted Republican!

(Qian Jiang)

What you're looking at is a necklace and a condom AND an ashtray. It's not one, nor two but ALL THREE of those things together! So you can hold your butt close to your chest.

Okay, we GET IT. You're NOT a virgin.


Finally, let's see some of those Bellybutton-meet-spine-spine-meet-bellybutton poses. They're usually accompanied by shocked or angry expressions -- I'd be angry too if I were trying to push my lower intestine out through my ass crack -- but I couldn't find any of those, so these will have to suffice instead.