All I Want For Christmas Is This Marchesa Dress

But there's no way that this black and gold Marchesa work of art -- referred to more commonly as a "dress" -- will ever be mine because

a.) I don't even celebrate Christmas...

b.) Even when it was marked down from $4,830 to $1,449, that's still a no-go, and

Meanwhile,

c.) I was tardy to the party and it's sold out. Because it's from waaaay back in 2008, if you can even remember that far back to when your favorite fashion plate and mine, Miley Cyrus, wore it to the 2008 American Music Awards.

I guess I'll "let" Miley have this one... and pray she holds a big-ass garage sale or something. I'm not proud.

Grammy Fashion Binge!

Hi 'Bingers! Both myself and MK were away, both at weddings (neither of which were ours, so reeeLAX!)

Anyway, a few Grammy abominations and atrocities:

(Photo: Us Magazine)

(Photo: FabSugar)

Carrie Underwood is a gorgeous girl, but she looks soooo Stepford. Someone PLEASE condition her hair! Please! It's aging her. And this Zuhair Murad dress is gorgeous, but IMO, it just takes the floral fad WAY too far.

(Photo: Glamourmagazine.co.uk)

Much better interpretation of florals. Love Fergie's floral maxi dress. (Anyone know who did it?)

(Photo: Fabsugar)

Speaking of hair don'ts -- Oy. Beyonce, girl. Fix. Your. Hair. This ice capades gown created some total weird-ass boob dysmorphia, and the hair looked SO frazzled.

(Photo: Bellasugar)

It's wacker than hell, but I think it's actually fun and youthful. Way better than Beyonce's pageant hair. And speaking of pageants...

(Photo: Fabsugar)

In her Sandy Spika silk gown, Taylor Swift channels Miss Teen Panhandle '94! Snooooooooooooooooooooooooooozola.

(Photo: Popsugar)

I expected more from Rihanna. Don't get me wrong, she almost always looks like a living doll, but in this blue Zac Posen piece? I dunno, dawg. Ques que ce "phoned in"?

(Photo: Popsugar)

Chris Brown matched the carpet and the nearest ice cream truck. WTF? He also inadvertently matched Miley Cyrus:

(Photo: Gossipgirls.com)

This girl freaks me out for many reasons, and this dress is no exception. (Another one being that her face is too big for her head).

Okay, bye!