HAMBURGER BED! I DIE!

I'm in big big trouble deep. I'm in love. With a hamburger bed. Actually, it's a cheeseburger, but beggars can't be choosers, as I used to tell my ex-boyfriend!

It's the granddaddy of all non-edible burger products. As the proud owner of a burger pillow, I can ONLY DREAM of owning this burger bed. And I never will. It got sold on ebay for $3,050. Grrrr. If only I'd known, I could've sacrificed a wedding dress and just rolled down the aisle between these amazing bunz.

Kayla Kromer of Austin MADE this burger bed, and obviously she is a GENIUS.

You can be friends with the Burger Bed on Facebook and become a fan of Kayla, which you should, because she's obviously a genius, like I said.

I love this snippet of dialogue on Hamburger Bed's Facebook page. It's regarding the BUYER (luckiest human ON this EARTH besides RACHEL ZOE who is SOOOOO FORTUNATE to have cracked the code that allows one to exist ONLY ON SHREDDED LETTUCE!), Paul:

One person: "Is Paul cool?"

Another person: "He bought a hamburger bed. Enough of an indication? I think so..."

Anyway, unless you are Paul, know Paul, Paul decides to resell the burger bed, or, you break into Paul's house (reason enough to invest in a feral pitbull!) you can buy a more size- and recession-friendly burger pillow like the one I own and adore:

($38, Leeleescreations)

You have no clue how comfy a burger pillow is. And surprisingly supportive on one's neck! Kosher for Passover too.

($20, 80stees.com)

Cheesy but cute Juno hamburger phone tee. GET IT? CHEESY?