Saturday, May 30, 2009


($360, Stuart Weitzman, Zappos)
Not only are these Stuart Weitzman Trianon a fashion MIRACLE -- I mean LOOK at that Deco heel. Could you DIE and come back to LIFE? -- but they'd match my Jenny Packham wedding dress (bought it, btw, at Mark Ingram. Totally painless, and they were wonderful!) PERFECTLY. It's like Jenny Packham and Stuart Weitzman collaborated and MADE my dress to GO with these flipping GORGEOUS heels. Like to borrow a line from Beauty Blogging Junkie's Amber, I'm breathing into a bag over these. HOWEVER, I'm out for BLOOD because they're only available in a 9.5. I breathlessly emailed Zappos who were all like "oh, you're a total doll, lovey, but you're SHIT OUT OF FUCKING LUCK BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GETTING ANY MORE IN." (They didn't swear, but still.) SO NOW WHAT?

Look, I realize that if I DON'T get these, it's not the end of the world. I know I've lived a Very Good Life and that I'm really truly fucking blessed just to have functioning body systems and arms and legs and hands and feet, but speaking of feet, I WOULD STEAL THESE OFF OF SOMEONE'S ACTUAL FEET -- RIP THEM OFF THEIR ANKLES (if they were a size 8). LIKE, WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? WHO DO I NEED TO SLEEP WITH TO GET THESE IN A SIZE 8? Because I'll do it, and I'll sleep with them (quickly, drunkenly, and then deny that it ever hapened). I'm effing serious here.

Anyone know anyone in Stuart Weitzman PR? Anyone know Stuart Weitzman? I REFUSE to believe that there isn't a size 8 sitting in a warehouse somewhere. And I... I'm gonna go Nancy Drew on Stuart Weitzman ass and I'ma FIND 'EM!


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